Alive
by secretfanficlover
Summary: Severus has one thing he wants to make sure he does before he dies... he wasn't expecting to survive another day. AU! Severus lives


**This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.**

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Word Count: 768

Title: Alive

Beta: ViolaMoon

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Golden Snitch

[Name] Crissie

[School] Uagadou

[House] Ogyinae

Event: Severus Snape's Birthday: Prompt 2: A day in the life of Severus Snape as a spy.

Additional: (emotion) envy

Event: 2010's In Memoriam: Alan Rickman- as Severus Snape of course, because as a Harry Potter fan, this is an iconic role he will always be remembered as.

Additional: (emotion) fear

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Hogwarts

Assignment 1: Paleontology: Known Dinosaur Fossils: Task #8: Write about someone who has emotional barriers, or is 'keeping up walls' to protect themselves.

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Severus knew the path he chose, and he knew what it meant. He needed to keep up his guard, he couldn't make a mistake, mistakes cost lives. Hadn't he already lost so much? But it seemed like fate wasn't quite done with him just yet. As much as he insisted on remaining vigilant, somehow some feelings got through the walls he built so high that most couldn't see his heart hidden behind it.

He never expected to fall in love again, but there was something about him. Something vulnerable, something screaming out to be loved. He just wasn't sure he could take a risk like that again.

* * *

"The Dark Lord knows I have been working for Dumbledore," Severus said, sipping his firewhiskey.

"No, he can't. You would already be dead," Remus insisted. It still was odd for the two of them since they put the past behind them and became close. War has a way of bringing the most unlikely of people together. Remus was also drinking, and soon they were chatting like best friends.

"I want to do something before that happens," Severus said, his tone slurred.

"What's that?"

"This," Severus said, standing up and kissing Remus, his arms finding Remus's shoulders for support.

"You'll regret this," Remus said when they pulled apart, both of them breathless.

"I only regret not doing it sooner," Severus said with melancholy, and then he left without another backward glance at the man. He fleetingly wondered what he would do if he did survive after all. He would probably die of embarrassment. He just made out with Remus Lupin. What on Earth could he have been thinking? It occurred to him that he wasn't, but somewhere inside he couldn't bring himself to care too much.

* * *

"Severus," the dark lord said. "Something seems different about you."

Severus managed to shield his heart away, and he knew his Master wouldn't look too closely at it. Voldemort didn't know love, and that was his biggest weakness.

"Thank you everyone," Voldemort said, addressing the Death Eaters around the table. There had been no murmurs, no mutterings to silence. Everyone was on edge already.

"Today we are discussing a new plan to get to the boy," he said. Bellatrix chuckled from his right-hand side.

"Master, I heard tell that the boy is being moved tonight," Severus said, his voice hollow.

The Death Eaters looked eager as he spoke to them, trying to not give away too much, just enough for them to be content with his information.

Most of the group got dismissed, and he heard Bellatrix mutter, "Gotta run. Got murder to plan. Busy day," and then he saw her messy mop of hair disappear out through the double doors of the Malfoy Manor.

"Severus." He heard the chilling voice of Voldemort address him, and his insides froze with fear but he kept his expression neutral. "You should get back to the Order."

"Yes, Master," he said, bowing slowly.

Voldemort nodded, dismissing him without another word.

* * *

_'Oh shit_.' Severus thought as he reached the door to Grimmauld Place. What was he going to say now? He went right upstairs, not talking to anyone.

When Severus woke up, he felt eyes on him. He shivered when he saw Remus sitting on the edge of his bed. To mask his surprise, he lashed out.

"What in Merlin's name?" Severus cried out, hoping he sounded indignant.

"You kissed me," Remus said simply.

"I did not," Severus insisted, wiping his eyes.

"Oh. come on, don't be childish," Remus replied resigned. "I just want to know why."

"Why? Why do you _think_?" Severus asked, sitting up straight and letting the covers fall from his bare chest.

"Well." Remus blushed. "I thought you liked me, but maybe you were just drunk and thinking you were going to die…" he trailed off, and Severus spotted the insecurity there.

"I wanted to," Severus admitted, surprising them both. He had been holding up those emotional barriers so long, he knew that somehow the feelings had come through after all.

"You did?" Remus sounded shocked, and Severus wasn't surprised. Severus nodded.

"But…" Remus didn't know what to say.

"I know, it was stupid, go laugh with Black about it or something," Severus said.

"What makes you think I would laugh at you?" Remus asked puzzled.

"Because... aren't you two…" Severus couldn't bring himself to ask.

"No, we aren't together."

"No?" Severus repeated shocked.

"No," Remus grinned. "So can I kiss you again?"

Severus nodded again, and Remus crawled up to him and started kissing him again passionately.

"I'm so glad you didn't die." Remus grinned.


End file.
